Rambling

I need a break. I really do. Maybe I should start smoking. Smokers get breaks all the time. I don't see why so many of them ask for my permission to do it, though. No, I don't mind and no, I don't want to come with you. It's fucking freezing outside, just go... Have your fun, I'm not your mother. I don't share your addiction. I let you go, but I envy you. I don't get a break for my habits. I don't smoke but sure, I masturbate. Does that count? That should be a thing. Mandatory masturbation. 

Ok, maybe not mandatory... Now hear me out 'cause I have a dream. It's not as radical as it may sound at first. I think there should be two types of break rooms, one where you eat lunch and socialize, like "How was your weekend?" and shit, but then there should also be "the booth". You don't have to jack off, that's ok! Check your Facebook, yoga, have a nap, whatever. You could even eat candy without having to share it with anyone! Yes I'll have my 5 minute break, thank you. I'll eat a fucking bar of chocholate while you shiver outside and inhale that burning bush.

I can already see how some people, a certain type of women, would see this as a problem: "He's always at the booth. He's such a loner. What's he doing in there, anyway?" It's none of your business! That's the point! I'm a man. I got needs. Maybe I don't want to hear about your diet every time I eat a Mars bar. If you want to make it a social thing, I got tools, I'll drill a hole to the side so you can talk to my dick. That's my new thing. Well, I guess it's not a thing quite yet, really. More like a thought. I'm all for the booth, I'm just saying. You could say I'm pro-booth. Pro as in professional.

So yeah. My dick is slightly curved to the left but I didn't realize this was a problem until I started the whole gay thing. It leads to all sorts of misunderstandings. Like, when I was at the gloryholes one time and stuck my dick in, it peeked right back in from the hole next to me. A guy walked up to my side and started tapping the wall, trying to communicate. "Hey! Hey! This is the givers' side! You're at the wrong side!" He was getting real mad about it, too! I felt like we were bros. I calmly put my hand on his shoulder and said, "No, I'm not. Blow me."